College student graduates after 5 years, dad refuses to go to graduation because he has a fishing trip: 'He’s missed a lot of my birthdays for similar reasons'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 24, 2026 7:45 PM EDT

Not every parent sees witnessing their kid's milestones as a priority.

It seems obvious: if you are going to go to the effort of raising children, surely you want to be there to celebrate when they achieve things. This is one of the highlights of the struggles that come with parenting; you finally get to see it pay off.

However, not every mom or dad is truly invested in this more enjoyable side of the parenting journey. They are more concerned with their own interests, or they have the kind of relationship with their kids that means that they are not fazed by missing out on the highlights.

Ultimately, the worst thing about this kind of scenario is the effect that it has on the children. While it is important for parents to have a life outside of their kids, that does not mean deprioritizing them for other things completely. A lifetime of dealing with this kind of thing is what lands adults in therapy for many, many years. For many, the sting of dealing with a parent like this does not go away completely, no matter how much they may grow up and achieve stuff without them.

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  • A female college graduate holds her cap halfway across her face while sitting on steps outside
    via Josué Sánchez (Unsplash+)

    A female college graduate holds her cap halfway across her face while sitting on steps outside

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • In this story, a woman had struggled to complete her college course but was finally graduating after five years. She was proud of her achievement, and she hoped that her dad might come along to her graduation ceremony to celebrate.

    However, she was disappointed when her father informed her that the graduation landed on the exact same day as his big annual fishing trip. He claimed that he was reluctant to back out, as this meant that he might not get invited back. She was angry that he would miss a once-in-a-lifetime experience, but she wasn't sure if her anger was justified.

  • Am I overreacting over my dad skipping my college graduation for a fishing trip?

    I spent 5 years finishing a 4 year program. I was depr sed and was hating the program and tried to drop out. I wanted to stop to work at my wonderful job but I was told to go back and finish the last year. So I did it. It
    via Outrageous-Aide9037
  • was the hardest thing I've ever done. But I finished collage!! And then I get a call from my dad a few weeks later. His annual huge event fishing trip is the same day as my graduation. He says he won't be invited back if he backs out now and that it's a
    via Outrageous-Aide9037
  • really expensive trip that he already paid for. He asked me to see if it was okay if he went if not. I made him make the call if he was going or not. And he's going on the trip.
    via Outrageous-Aide9037
  • I'm really trying to be mature and understand the circumstances are out of his control. He didn't pick the date of the trip. He already paid. If he backs out no invites back. But I can't help but be devastated. And so so angry and hurt. He's missed a lot of my birthdays
    via Outrageous-Aide9037
  • for smilar reasons so the anger and hurt is compounding for years of stuff like this.He said he would get me a present to make up for it. But is that enough?
    via Outrageous-Aide9037
  • Am I overreacting for taking this personally, even though the circumstances were apparently out of his control.
    via Outrageous-Aide9037
  • The back of the head of a graduating college student outside
    via Josué Sánchez (Unsplash+)

    The back of the head of a graduating college student outside

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • writing_mm_romance It sounds like you've made it to where you are in spite of him, not because of him...remember that.
    via writing_mm_romance
  • The world is full of men who can make babies but don't know how to raise them, that's not your fault that your father is one of those men. However, I would stop making time for him, especially if he's not able to make time for you.
    via writing_mm_romance
  • LamroDoll Maybe he can live with his fishing trip mates when he's old.
    via LamroDoll
  • This is a huge deal in your life and well done for completing! He cares more about not being invited back to fish than he does about being invited back to any of your major events. He thinks you'll always be there. It's up to you how true that is.
    via LamroDoll
  • QuietlyUpgrading This isn't about just one fishing trip. It's obviously a long pattern of not prioritizing you.
    via QuietlyUpgrading
  • And honestly "the circumstances were out of his control" only goes so far when he ultimately still made a choice. He chose the trip. So, no, NOR. I completely understand why that would feel hurtful to you to after fighting so hard to finish school.
    via QuietlyUpgrading
  • Consistent Proof_772 Keep that same energy when he ask to come to your wedding
    via Consistent_Proof_772
  • ejbrds NOR. When people show you who they are, believe them.
    via ejbrds
  • Gwendolyn-NB NOR, and IMO time to "walk away" from dad; its all bulls excuses. Once in a lifetime thing vs whatever... he's chosing the latter; he's shown/is showing what he really cares about.
    via Gwendolyn-NB

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